I walked the three blocks out to Hubbard Walnut and Veneer, the smell of fresh sawn lumber and the aroma from the kilns draggin’ me on. I was tired, but kind of exhilarated too, when I came to the lot where huge mounds of walnut logs were piled everywhere and men were linin’ up to go in and punch the clock. I saw a young fella about my own age and walked over and said hello. “Hi y’all doon,” he said with a long Southern drawl. “Where you from, man?Alabamaor somewhere?” “Tennessee, mah fren’, up in them thar hills.” “They doin’ any hirin’ out here?” “Ya kin ast ‘em Ah s’pose.” “Man, you sound like Johnny Rivers!” “Prolly do. Name’s Jimmy Rivers. Shirt tail.” “Wow. Ya ever hang out with him? Gawd damn I

like his music! You a guitar player?” “Yeah boy, Ah play some. Ah’m goin’ ta Nashvilleinna coupla weeks.” “Fuck me,” I said. “I always wanted to go down there an’ see if I was good enough.” “Got me a job there awready, soon’s I gits ‘nuff cash ta go. Studio sanger. Good place ta start, raht on tha bottom.” “You know people down there?” “Hail yeah. Got fam’ly.” “Well, hey, good luck, man. I’m gonna run in the office and see if I can get a job. I sure like the smell of this place.” “Ah don’. Bin livin’ in thet shitbox camper raht chere fo’ damn neah two yeahs. Sick o’ the stankin stuff. Ah’m goin’ South.” I nodded and headed for the office. Gawd damn. Johnny Rivers’ cousin!

When I was stayin’ in Freeport with my brother-in-law and sister right before my second shot at Reform School I had gotten a job at Burgess Battery factory down by the bridge in the slums by lyin’ about my age. I laughed out loud at the memory. I had told ‘em I was nineteen, married, and had a year old kid and another comin’, so they’d feel sorry for me. It worked, and I was there for about four months before they caught me in the lie and fired my fifteen year old ass.

I went into the office and a secretary looked up. “Can I help you?” “Well, yes, perhaps you can! I’m stayin’ with relatives here in Dubuque for the summer, just down on 29^th andWashington. Anyhow, every morning when I get up to go to work I feel invigorated by the wonderful smells coming to me through the window. This morning, well, I just followed my nose, not having to be at work for another hour and a half. I was wondering if there was someone available who could tell me about the operation, and, if there might be an opening for employment in some capacity.” “Are you eighteen?” “Oh, yeah! I’ve been nineteen since January!” “Well, that’s fine! Let me call the foreman for you.”

She pushed a button under the desk and I could hear her voice outside on the speakers; “Ron. Please report to the office. A young man would like to learn about our operation. Give him the grand tour. Here; fill out this application while you are waiting.” “Thank you, ma’am! I certainly appreciate your help.” She smiled at me and went back to work.

Ron was cool. He was the foreman for the whole outside operation, and led me all over the place explainin’ what was goin’ on, how the logs were checked for nails an’ shit, where the stuff was cooked and how that worked, and then he took me into the mill. “Wow. That’s really neat! Can we watch for a while?” “Sure. That’s my brother Dick runnin’ the saw.  Rough job on this end though, takin’ the stuff off. Heavy. Be a good job for a strong boy like you.” “Damn right! Man, I’d like that job! I been workin’ in a gas station for the last year, and it gets kinda borin’!” “Here in Dubuque?” “Yeah. Mike’s Citgo.” “Up on Dodge and Nevada?” “Yeah! Mike’s! Damn nice guy.” “Damn, boy, I’ve seen you up there; you put gas in my old ’55 Ford hot rod last month!” “That custom sumbitch made into a Ranchero?” “Yeah!” We shook hands like old pals. “So. You thinkin’ about switchin’ jobs?” “Maybe. I don’t think I wanna pump gas my whole life. I like workin’ on old cars though. Got a ’50 Merc.” “Jeezus! No shit?” “Yeah. She’s a sweetheart. If you’re gonna be around for a while I’ll go get it and show it to ya. Just down the street three blocks.” “I’m here for the day. Day, hell! I usually put in about sixteen hours!” “Fine. I’ll be right back. I still got forty five minutes before I gotta be at the station.” I trotted off.

Twenty minutes later I pulled in on the parkin’ side o’ the place and rapped the pipes a few times. Everybody that wasn’t doin’ somethin’ came over to see the car, Ron and brother Dick out front. I felt like a fuckin’ celebrity.

After admirin’ my car for five minutes Ron said, “Sandra told me you filled out an application. What do ya think, want a job workin’ with Dick in the mill? It’ll make a man outta ya!” “Hell yeah! I gotta give Mike time to find some other kid though. He’s been good to me.” “Great. Come out when you’re ready to go to work.” We all shook hands and I climbed into the Merc and took off.

When I got to the Station I told Mike what was goin’ on. He got a mean look on his face and said, “That’s awright, I was gonna fire yer lazy ass anyhow!” and we both laughed and got busy. He was a good friend. “Paul’s been buggin’ me to let him work for the summer. Guess I’ll let him. Hell, he’s down here every day anyhow.” “Yeah. He’s good. Helped me out a lot with the Merc. Him or Fat Pat. Either one.”

He hired Paul when he came in at ten and said, “Well, you  can go ahead and take off if ya want, just make sure ya don’t buy yer gas somewhere else!” We shook hands and I went around pickin’ up my tools and stuff. I was gonna miss the Gas Station, but not that bad. I had the day off, and didn’t have to show up at the mill until I felt like it. Awright!

I rolled out onto Dodge and hooked a left downhill towardGalena. Thought I’d go see Ma and maybe take a nap on the porch for a while. Might go fishin’ later. Too bad Abe was workin’ out at Duke’s.

I didn’t even get in the house. Soon as I parked the car I crawled into the back seat, opened all the windows and laid down and faded away. I dreamed about my Judy and it was so real I couldn’t believe it. I could even hear her talkin’ to me! She shook me again and I opened my eyes sluggishly, and there she was, layin’ on the Merc’s seat with me! “Hey. I was dreamin’ about you!” “I thought you had to work today?” “Did. Quit.” “Momma ain’t gonna like to hear that.” “Got a better job. Three bucks an hour in a big gawd damn sawmill over in Dubuque. We’ll be rollin’ in money, baby, and I don’t have to start until I’m ready.” I told her all about my sleepless night and what I did that mornin’ and she said, “No shit? Johnny Rivers’ cousin?” “Yeah. Cool, huh?” We laid there and looked into each other’s eyes for a while, kissin’ and  smilin’, and kinda drifted off, sleepin’ together in the old car. Woke up together. It was like a dream comin’ true and I was deliriously happy.

She told me she was gonna try to get a waitress job down at Burbach’s Restaurant. “I’ll go with you. Tom’s Mom owns the place. I’m like another son to her. You’ll get it.” “Not if she remembers the fight.” “Aw, baby, she’s been in a lot more meaner fights herself! She’ll like you! C’mon; let’s go down. I need some coffee anyway.”

Tom had got sucked into fryin’ hamburgers for the summer and was glad to see us. He came out and sat in the booth with us for a while and I told him Judy was huntin’ a job. “I’ll go get the Ol’ Lady, she’s in the kitchen.” He eyed Judy up and down and grinned at me. “Nice,” and walked off. She looked at me over her coffee cup and blushed a little. When I couldn’t look away the pink got a little more pronounced, then Edna came out and slid into the booth.

“Hi Frankie, how ya doin’? Stayin’ outta trouble?” “So far. This is my girl, Judy. She was thinkin’ about askin’ ya for a job.” Edna just sat there lookin’ at my sweetie for a bit. “Goin’ steady?” “Yes ma’am.” Judy pulled the chain out of her blouse and showed Edna my ring. “Well, I can’t be havin’ no catfight in here every Saturday night.” I patted Edna’s arm. “That ain’t ever gonna happen again Edna. She’s my girl now, and gonna stay that way.”

She looked at the way our hands were linked on the table top, how they were softly touchin’ and lovin’ each other, and smiled. “Well, I can always fire yer ass an’ throw ya out if ya piss me off. When do ya wanna start?” “Is Friday okay Edna?” I asked. I told her about my job switch, and that we’d never really had a chance to be together much yet, and would kinda like to have the rest of the week like a vacation or somethin’. “If you don’t mind.” “That’s fine. Business is pickin’ up though, with the tourists comin’. If ya ain’t here Friday don’t come in Saturday!” Judy promised and the big woman heaved herself to her feet and went back to her grill.

It was two o’clock. “Wanna go fishin’?” “I ain’t never been fishin’! Where we gonna go?” “Up under the foot bridge by the Foundry. Big fuckin’ Carp an’ stuff in there. Can’t eat ‘em but they’re fun to catch. C’mon!”

We went to Joe ‘n Dick’s bait shop next to the Sportsman’s Last Chance tavern and got a coupla Zebco 33’s and a can o’ worms. Dick was fixin’ a big 50 horse Johnson in the tank and the place was full of oily smoke. “When ya goin’ trappin’ wif me again? Saw some ‘coon goin’ into the caves below Chestnut the other day. Big ones. Gotta be a den in there.” “Anytime, Dick! Just holler. Don’t ask me to run deer for ya again though! Fuckin’ near got shot that last time!” “Shoulda wore somethin’ a little brighter. Looked like a gawd damn deer to me!”

Old Joe laughed. I went over and paid for the stuff and asked him if he’d found any new coins. He pulled out one of his albums. “As a matter of fact I did. Got me some Morgan dollars last week. Un-circulated. Lookie here.” The writing under each coin was so precise and neat I had trouble readin’. “Damn, Joe, them are nice. Look like new!” “Well, they are! Other than bein’ fuckin’ near a hundred years old.” We flipped through the book for a while and then I said, “Well, we’re goin’ over to the Sportsman’s and see the Old Man. See ya later.”

Pop was the main bartender and had more or less managed the place the last few years. He used to make me ‘n brother John clean up and stock the coolers and stuff ‘til we got a little rebellious and followed other pursuits. John was workin’ for Joe ‘n Dick down at theMarinaat Ferry Landing until he went into the Army. Now he was gettin’ trained forViet Nam.

My daddy was behind the bar in his starched white shirt. He thought he had to look important, I s’pose, cause that’s all he ever wore to work. Sometimes he even wore a big ol’ tie. Why he dressed like that to work in that dingy old bar I could never understand. Every time it rained they had to throw wooden pop crates on the floor to be able to walk in the ankle deep water that smelled strongly of the stuff that washed out of the bathrooms. It was a popular sumbitch of a place though, and I never saw it when there wasn’t at least a half dozen linin’ the stools at the bar.

“That’s yer girlfriend, huh? No wonder yer never around!” “Yeah, Pop, and she’s a damn nice girl. We’re goin’ steady. Moved here from Nebraskalast year. Well, we’re goin’ fishin’.” “Yeah. I’ll bet ya are!” He grinned, and I could see him lookin’ out the window at the Merc as we pulled away from the curb.

Ron ‘n Tony were there when we got to the foot bridge, and Ron had just landed a mean lookin’ gar that was still floppin’ all over the place. I parked a hundred feet away so I didn’t have to introduce nobody and we found a spot a little upriver but still in the shade and I baited the hooks, with her watchin’ intently. “Does it hurt?” “What, stickin’ the hook through ‘em? Never thought about it. Does make ‘em wiggle like a sumbitch, don’t it?” I showed her how to cast and had a hell of a good time doin’ it. She wasn’t no dummy and I’ll be damned if she didn’t snag a little Sunfish right off the bat, soon as she got her line wet.

I latched onto a big carp a few minutes later and worked up a bead by the time I dragged him in. About fourteen pounds. Caught six more by four o’clock. Thought maybe ol’ John would like to have ‘em. I found an old tar bucket layin’ in the weeds and threw ‘em in. “Well, I’ve had enough, how about you, babe?” She had caught a couple too but they got away on her. “Where we gonna go now?” “Gonna take the fish up to this old fella who smokes ‘em in an old refrigerator in the back yard. Ya can almost eat ‘em when he gets ‘em cooked. Sells ‘em in the bars. Delivers ‘em wrapped in old newspapers. Alla that ink soakin’ into the greezy sumbitches gotta be poison but I never heard nobody complain. Got a neat place in the woods with a pigeon coop back around the house. Cool. C’mon.”

Ol’ John was home, putterin’ around out in the yard in amongst his junk cars and old pickup trucks in his filthy bibs and wrinkled, stained wide brimmed fedora. He had a hell of a collection; Studebakers, Packards, a Kaiser-Frazer, and a Model A pickup that still ran, sittin’ next to the faded gray ’49 Chevy four door fast-back he still drove. The rest of ‘em were all brown, rust eatin’ ‘em where they lay in the eight foot tall weeds. “Hey John, got some Carp for ya!”

He looked ‘em over like the connoisseur he was and said, “Yeah, ‘em’re nice! Feel fresh, too! Where’d ya git ‘em?” “Foot bridge.” “Used ta go there my own self. Fell in there drunk last time. Never went back.” “Yeah, it’s pretty deep. Well, they’re yours if ya want ‘em.” “Why, that’s damn nice o’ ya! Bring ‘em up anytime!” We said our good-byes and hopped in the car.

“Was that guy one o’ them hillbillies I heard about?” I grinned at her, “If he ain’t, he’s the closest thing we got to one inGalena. Wanna meet some more?” I took her up to the Kernel’s. Him ‘n Umpsie, Dynamite, and ‘Tosi were sittin’ in the shade with a case of warmHoliday quarts. I always liked the billboard on the side of the Sportsman’s tavern with the Indian Maiden and the pretty mountain and lake picture on it but couldn’t hack the beer itself, and declined when ‘Tosi offered me a swig outta his bottle. After his foul mouth touched it, I wouldn’ta drank out of it if I was dyin’ of thirst anyway. Judy was amazed. She had never imagined that there were real people who looked like that, or acted the way they did. We had a nice visit and took off. “Abe oughta be home from work about now. Maybe him ‘n Carol wanna go for a ride.”

I was careful not to run over the drunk layin’ in the gutter in front of Moes’s when I parked. He had shit himself a number of times but had quit carin’ a long time ago, and the big black flies was crawlin’ all over him. People just stayed a few feet away and walked around the old fella. Every other block seemed to have one, empty bottle of Thunderbird layin’ next to ‘em. We went up the steps.

Ran into some dude with a big handlebar moustache comin’ down. “Is that you, Frank? Jeezus, when did ya get outta prison, man? Ain’t seen you since I was twelve! Judy, this is Abe’s brother Frank!” “Oh gawd, two Franks? Hi,” she says, and I asked him if Abe was home. “Yeah. Just climbed outta the tub. Some good lookin’ tramp is in the kitchen waitin’ for him. Whatta ya’s gonna do?” “Prob’ly get drunk or somethin’. Might see ya down by the Pool Hall later.” He nodded and went on down the steps, and we went up to the penthouse.

He liked to shave every day, knowin’ how damn handsome he was, and came outta the bathroom all lathered up to see what all the noise was. Them girls cackled like chickens sometimes when they got together. “Hey. What’s goin’ on?” “I’m on vacation for the rest of the week. Just went fishin’ and thought we’d see if you two wanted to go for a ride or somethin’. Maybe get some beer an’ stuff and go out to Al’s. He prob’ly could use some company.” “Better pick up a case then, a twelve pack ain’t enough.” “Maybe we oughta grab a coupla them Tapper’s out at the Liquor Store. Hamms, but there’s a lotta suds in ‘em.” “I don’t mind Hamms. From the land with sky blue water, after all. Ain’t that right Carol?” “What?” “Yeah, lemme get this shit off my face. Be right out.”

We trotted down the steps toMainand leaned against the car in our favorite position, Judy on the fender and me as close as I could get without gettin’ arrested. The old drunk was gone. Wish he woulda took the damn flies with him.

It was almost five-thirty when the cool cat ‘n kitty ambled out the door onto the street. They both looked spit-shined. Musta stopped on the steps for a while. “I been thinkin’ about it; fuck it, let’s go for a case, man. Fits in the cooler better. I like Blue Ribbon better’n blue water anyway.” “Yeah, I was thinkin’ about it too. Last time I shit for two solid days.” We climbed into the car, guys in front, and went around town about sixteen times, finally pullin’ over in front of Boze’s and I yelled, “Party at Al’s!” and did a big burnout and shot up the street. When they knew we weren’t comin’ back around everyone ran for their cars.

We got there first and I drove the Merc up that rough old incline to where Al had the trailer sittin’. Soon as he heard us come through the tunnel he musta got all excited ‘cause when we could see him he was damn near dancin’ and singin’ and wavin’ with both arms. Poor old lonesome sumbitch. Yeah, he was pretty damn thirsty, too. I told him a few more people would prob’ly show up, after the invitation I had thrown out downtown, and he smiled like heaven wasn’t too far away. Me ‘n Abe started draggin’ firewood outta the trees and the girls tried to clean the old boy up a little but the novelty wore off fast. Carol yelled, “Anybody got a fire hose?”

Steve and Bernie drove up the hill in Steve’s white ’57 Bel Air and parked next to the Merc. I could hear other cars rumblin’ down the valley on the other side of the hill too. Didn’t take much to get one goin’ in the summer time. Eddie, Hawk, and Louie pulled up down by the tunnel and walked up the hill. An old greenPlymouthwent past Ed’s ’66 and a few minutes later seven of the New Digginz gals walked up the hill. Hawk started smilin’. Mel and John from the Theatre rolled through in that big black ’59 Olds ragtop and went down by the Abbley house to turn around. Ted showed up in the ’60 Plymouth Fury I had sold him after smashin’ hell out of it in Louisburg the Fourth of July. I had it fixed but it didn’t drive worth a damn no more. Dick and Big Red came up the lane with Barry and a coupla girls from town.

The Corn Boil was happenin’ soon and was the main topic of conversation that evenin’. Last year had been a doozie, but they expected way more than twelve thousand people this time around, and had a hell of a carnival lined up.

Some of the Digginz gals tried to get old Al to say he would go but he just kept shruggin’, “Ain’ got no teef.” Ed threw a can of gas on the fire and fuckin’ near torched them that was too close, sittin’ on stumps and coolers and old wheels stacked up double. We had carried a bunch of cement blocks out over the years for seats but could only find a few of ‘em. “Hey Al, what happened to alla them cement blocks?” “Oh, tha fahm boys up tha road put ‘em all undah me trailer this spring. She sank about a foot ‘n a half  undah me bed.” “Well, at least they did ya some good. We’ll bring some more out.”

They brought a keg and set it up close to the fire about seven fifteen, and by that time I had stopped payin’ attention to new arrivals, and took my honey for a walk so she could relieve herself. It wasn’t safe for a girl to drop her pants out there ‘til it got good and dark.

“Hey. Frank! Where the fuck are ya?!” I disentangled myself from her. “Well, I guess we oughta get back to the party, sounds like they miss us.” Judy giggled and we crawled outta the brushy hole we had discovered near the train tracks and went back to the fire. It was startin’ to get dark out. “Jeezus, where’d all  the people come from!” “News travels fast inGalena, baby.”

        I hadn’t brought my guitar so old Al and Abe tried to do a little entertain’ on their own for a while but it didn’t last long. He had to go down to the creek with Carol to help her clean up. They musta got lost ‘cause they didn’t make it back to the fire for more’n an hour.

I had to get Abe home so he could make it to work, and I didn’t wanna piss Judy’s Momma off either. Somebody had already put Al to bed and the fire was almost out. I dumped the water out of the cooler onto the remaining embers and we crawled in the car and went back to town. Carol got out with Abe and went in the penthouse with him, and I drove the Merc to Judy’s and walked her to the door. “Meet me down at the Cozy about ten and we’ll go out to the Swimmin’ Pool for a coupla hours.” “Okay.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and said it right in my ear and tickled the shit outta me. “I love you.” Every time she touched me I got thrills or chills or big jolts of heat.

  I was sittin’ in the Cozy sippin’ coffee about nine fifteen that mornin’ when Sam came in. “Hey, Frank, ya comin’ down to the camp tonight? Got a poker game goin’. I’m gonna win this fuckin’ time.” “Any girls comin’ down?” “They always do.” “Awright. I’ll see if my sweetie wants to. I ain’t goin’ nowhere without her.” “Whipped, huh? She must be good.” “She’s a damn good girl, Sam.” “Yeah, right. Well, drift down about eight. That’s when the game’s gonna start. Got three tables set up, and we’ll rotate players.” “Sounds good. See ya down there.”

She looked even sexier in the yellow two-piece suit than she had in the creek last night, if that was possible, when I watched her come into the pool area from the locker room and hand her basket to the old woman. I had been shootin’ the breeze with a teacher from the high school ‘til she came out about some silly shit I had pulled in his science class before I was ejected. I had drawn a picture of him dissecting a frog, but he wasn’t doin’ it with a knife, and he didn’t like it. He still didn’t think it was funny. I got up and went over and kissed her warmly there in the bright sunshine, then we jumped in.

After splashin’ around for a coupla hours we got outta there. “Is it hard to drive a car like this?” I looked over at her. Uh-oh. Aw, what the hell…”Naw, sweetheart, just gotta get used to it. You got yer license?” “Yeah, but I never drove no stick.” “Well, just watch me for a while. We’ll drive around the track here at the Fairgrounds for a bit, then you can see how ya do.” “You’re gonna let me drive the Merc?” “Why not? You’re my girl, ain’t ya?” “Fuckinaye!” she grinned, and scooched up sideways and paid attention.

I didn’t get on it or nothin’, just kept stoppin’, startin’, and runnin’ through the gears nice and easy, and she watched my feet and my hands and said, “That doesn’t look too hard, I guess.” “Ya ready to give it a shot?” “Yeah.”

She only ground the gears a few times, and had the old car buckin’ like a horse once, but by the third time around she was doin’ damn good. I was proud of her and told her so. “Can I drive out to Burton’s Bridge?” “Sure. Just watch out for silly fuckers comin’ at us is all.” I sat back and tried to enjoy the ride but I was a little nervous about it. I didn’t have to worry; she did just fine. I was a little surprised when she pulled off and drove down under the bridge toward the parkin’ spot, and a few minutes later a little more surprised, when she shut the car off and attacked me. Ah, what an afternoon!

I took her home to take a bath and change and went down to Boze’s and got in a game of eight-ball with some of the guys and won seven dollars, then wandered over to the Silver Dollar. Frank was there puttin’ the bite on a curly-haired blond and I flopped onto the stool next to them. “What’s happenin’?” Frank said, “I’m tryin’ ta get in this young lady’s shorts; I shit mine.” I busted up laughin’ and told the guy to fish me out a Blue Ribbon, and sat there with ‘em for a while. Told Frank about the game that night. He asked the blond if she wanted to go and she said, “Sure, long as ya put on clean shorts first!” Before I really knew what was goin’ on they were kissin’ and laughin’ and stuff, then Frank said, “Abe ‘n his ol’ lady comin’ wif ya?” “Yeah, prob’ly.” “Mind if we catch a ride? I ain’t got no wheels yet. Hell, I ain’t had a Driver’s License in ten years!” “Sure. I got room. Gotta bring yer own brew though.” “Vodka!” he says. “Good enough. They might throw in for a keg later, but nobody  said nothin’. We’ll take off about seven, front of Moes’s.”

Abe’s ’56 was gettin’ a long rest. Nobody wanted to ride in it now that the Merc was on the road. I liked bein’ the pilot anyhow and that was fine with me. We went down and filled the tank and I dumped three quarts of oil down it’s throat, then went through Pete’s and traded jokes with him while Abe paid him for the suds.

Judy had a pale blue summer dress on with some almost invisible straps and bare shoulders and she looked so good. I was a lucky man and knew it. The other four were in the back seat and she could have sat over on her side of the car, but she didn’t. Her place was right next to me, as close as she could get. I loved it. We headed for Aiken.

Sam’s dad owned a camp way off the road down this mud and bug infested lane and when we got there, there was maybe fifteen cars parked in the yard. Frank said, “Hey, somebody did bring a keg, man. That’s good; I ain’t worth a damn at poker.” He grinned slyly at the blond, “That’s why I wanna poke her.”

She thought it was funny, and I got the feelin’ that he just might get his wish.

We split up and found seats and the girls wandered off and got together. Sam was right; the place was full of ‘em, and I didn’t have to worry that she would be bored and grabbed the deck. I was good at poker. That’s all we had to take up our time up on Jail Hill! I laid out a round of five card and after everyone discarded and got their cards sat back and watched the stoopid fuckers’ faces. They were funny as hell. Watched too many gawd damn cowboy movies or somethin’. Four hours later I walked outta there with six hundred dollars.

I went out by the keg. It was still half full ‘cause the girls were the only ones that had been at it, pretty much, ‘til the games broke up. Sam was pumpin’ it up and siphonin’ off a glass, which he handed me, and I said, “Well, did ya win?” “Fuck no! Lost two hundred. Again! Can’t win fer losin’!” “Yeah, Me too. I gotta go see Judy.”

Judy ‘n Carol and Frank’s woman were easy to find. All the other girls were hangin’ out around ‘em wishin’ they looked that good and had such handsome boyfriends an’ shit. Or somethin’. I didn’t ask what they were talkin’ about, just took Judy’s arm and eased her away from the crowd. “Havin’ fun, lil’ darlin’?” “Yeah. Did ya win any money?” “I’ll tell ya later; I don’t want ya screechin’ in front of everybody.” “You did! How much!” “Shh! C’mon, let’s go for a walk.” A few minutes later she did screech, and it’s a good thing we walked far enough or everybody there woulda known how much I had in my pocket. I had started with eleven dollars.

Bat was standin’ by the keg when we got back and I had him fill our glasses. “Win?” “Yeah. Fifty four dollars. Not too shabby. You?” “Yeah. Didn’t count it yet. You still drivin’ that old Chevy?” “Yeah. The Ol’ Man gave it to me after I knocked the tranny out. Molly fixed it for twenty-five. Runs good. Wanna swap that ugly old Merc for it?” “Not right now, but I’ll think about it. See Abe anywhere?” “Naw. Too busy playin’ cards.” “I gotta go find him before Judy’s Ma cuts my balls off. See ya later.”

We didn’t have to go far; Abe ‘n Frank were standin’ by the Merc countin’ their money, with the girls lookin’ over their shoulder. I said, “Jump in; my princess has to be home before the clock strikes twelve.” “Too bad. Yer car’s gonna turn into a punkin, man, it’s quarter to one.” “Shit! This fuckin’ watch of mine musta quit!” I put it up to my ear; yeah, deader than hell. I grinned. I could afford a new one, if I didn’t have to get my balls sewed back on!

Judy was so cuddly on the way back to town I didn’t wanna take her home but I did, and left the others wait in the car while I walked her up to the house. Momma was a little pissed and was waitin’ by the door. I peeled of a coupla twenties and quick handed ‘em to her. “Hey, we won! This is for you. Tell her how much we won, Judy!” “Frankie won a hundred dollars at the Fair, Momma, You shoulda seen him!” “And you gave me forty? Are you gonna give your own mother any?” “Yeah, I saved forty for her too! Boy was it fun! Well, I gotta drop the other kids off. See ya later!” My sweetie almost laughed but she kept it down while we kissed and I jumped off the porch and trotted to the car. “That was close,” I told Abe as I peeled out. He had climbed in front while I was gone. “Wanna go to East Dubuque? I just won four hundred bucks. I’m gonna quit out at Dukes!” Frank leaned up over the seat, “I got two hundred and sixteen.” I just started laughin’. “What’s so gawd damn funny?” Frank asked. “I won six hundred.” “Ya fuckin’ thief!” he said, and slid back into the rear. We dropped the other two girls off and headed west.

Lucille’s looked invitin’ and I parked in front and we climbed outta the car, paid our dollar each to my brother-in-law Denny who was the bouncer, and went inside. He told me as we walked past, “Sit right in front of the stripper and raise yer hand when she asks for a volunteer!” My sister Vi was waitin’ tables and we smiled at each other. The slinky stripper weaved around on the stage for a while and as soon as she stopped and opened her mouth I started wavin’ at her, and she grinned and motioned for me to come up on the stage. I didn’t know what the hell was goin’ on and didn’t really care, everyone in the bar was clappin’ and havin’ a good time and applauded when I scrambled up on the little dance floor. She handed me some brushes and a box of body paints. I started laughin’. That damn Denny!

They were glow-in-the dark paints that showed up wild as hell under the black-light, and I started gettin’ creative. Before long I had a picture of a big ugly rat-fink dobbed on her belly chasin’ a big ugly rat-fink woman and his tongue was longer than the extremely long boner he was wavin’ at her as he ran, then I painted a cop on a motorcycle chasin’ ‘em, then a cheeseburger, a picture of Jeezus on the cross, some lightnin’ bolts on her ass, and a rough rendition of myself with my tongue hangin’ out on her left tit. People were screamin’ and throwin’ shit on the stage, laughin’ like hell, and I jumped down and regained my seat. I had been up there about fifteen minutes and worked up a thirst.

My sister yelled in my ear, “You crazy sumbitch!” and walked off with her tray. Vi ‘n Denny had been workin’ in tandem there for a year or more, nights, and he cut meat at Eagle’s durin’ the day, and played the Bass in the Band on weekends sometimes yet. They were a family now and pretty soon the night life was gonna have to be put behind them. But it was fun at Lucille’s for a gawd damn long time. That Lucille had more diamonds danglin’ on her than a window display. Always wore a glittery black gown. Nice ol’ gal.

We left and went down the street to Schnee’s. Ol’ Herb was gaurdin’ the door himself and grinned when he saw me. “Don’t you ever stay home, boy?” “Gotta have one first,” I hollered over the heads of the people waitin’ to get in. He always had the best exotic dancers from New York, Chicago, and San Francisco there, and if I wouldn’ta already been in love I sure woulda fell that night. We sat at the bar that was built into the dance floor so you were right up there with the action after we got our beers from the main bar. A Spanish beauty from Mexico City was the main attraction that night and she was so wonderful the dozens of men watchin’ her perform were almost as quiet as when they were in church ‘til she dropped her G-string. She was bald. I nudged Abe, “I can’t take too much of this shit. Let’s go to Mulgrew’s and get somethin’ to eat.”

The lady behind the bar knew me. I had been hangin’ out with Denny and The Shades off and on since I was fourteen in East Dubuque’s Main Streetbars. Durin’ my formative years you might say. I was still formatin’ at seventeen and havin’ a hell of a time doin’ it. Artie Menz and a few guys came in for some chili while we were there and we talked for a while. I told him, “You look more like Elvis than he does every time I see ya!” “Thank you very much.” Artie was the King, in this area. I was damn proud to know him, and that he knew me.

The bars were closin’ so we jumped in the car and went back toGalenaand parked in front of the Pool Hall. Sat there ‘til the beer was gone. Abe ‘n Frank wandered off up the street. I went up on Bench and parked by the apartment and crawled in the back seat and crashed. The two blue satin pillows and gray Army blanket were all I needed to make me feel at home and I slept like a baby ‘til the sunlight got high enough to shine in my eyes about nine.

I went in and talked to Ma for a while and gave her some cash, took a bath and trimmed my Elvis sideburns, threw on some black Levi’s and black T, my black suede Beatle Boots, rolled my smokes in the sleeve, and was ready to face the day. Then I went up to the carwash behind the Distillery and hosed down the Merc. The beer smell was kinda strong so I cleaned the interior out good and went down to the Mobil and got me a pine tree stink bomb to hang on the dash. Yeah. Nice. I had some fender skirts in the trunk for the old Merc and thought I’d put ‘em on for the day. Perfect. All I needed now was somewhere to go.

I went to Judy’s house and knocked and her Ma came to the door. “Good mornin’ Frankie! I’ll go get Judy for you, c’mon in! What are you kids doing today?” “Thought we’d go to the Fair. Again.” “That sounds like fun. I’ll send her right down.” I sat on one of the kitchen chairs after I helped myself to some coffee and fired up a Marlboro and pretty soon she came in, wearin’ tennies, tight Levi shorts and a blue halter top, the chain with my ring sparklin’ like her eyes. “Hi.” “Ready?” “Yeah.”

I wasted my time washin’ the car. By the time we parked at the Dubuque County Fairgrounds it was covered in dust. It hadn’t rained for two weeks and the shit was blowin’ around like a gawd damn sand storm, and contributed greatly to the amount of beer we put down in the tent that day, between the rides and the games.

I don’t know where they found the creatures that ran the stands and rides. Barnum and Bailey woulda been proud of ‘em. I never saw such hustlers before and Judy’s eyes were big as dinner plates the first time we strolled through on our way to the Ferris Wheel. She said, “How come Kenny ain’t workin’ here?” It was so hot I almost barfed on the couple below us when the Wheel stopped and our seat started swingin’ back an’ forth, right there at the top. Judy had goose bumps poppin’ out all over her fantastic skin and screamed, just like all the other girls on the ride, and I yelled, “Fuck this; I wanna get off!” It took off again and we had to go around four more times. Damn. That was enough of that shit. Then she got me on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

I just wanted to throw some balls, toss a few rings, shoot a few targets, get our names engraved on a imitation silver bracelet, and win a big ol’ Teddy for her! But No! We had to ride every dangerous gawd damn thing that was ever invented first! I went to the Beer Tent a lot. After a coupla hours she finally said, “Ain’t ya gonna try to win somethin’?” I don’t know how many trips I made to the car, but before long the back seat was fulla trash. One of the bears was five foot tall and took up a third of the back. There were strands of jewelry and shiny shit hangin’ from the rear view mirror so thick I didn’t think I’d be able to see to drive, a pile of cowboy hats and an Indian Blanket that was pretty but had already started to unravel, and on Judy’s finger the biggest fake diamond ring in the world. She was happy as hell, and said, “I’m gettin’ tired, ain’t you?” “Yeah. Let’s go home.” I was tired and three quarters drunk.

We took a detour on the way and stopped in a shady spot in BeaverValleyand took a nap back there under the Indian Blanket with our heads on the giant Panda, and woke up when the sun was goin’ down. “I love you. That was the best day I ever had, Frankie.” Then she made it the best day I ever had.

It took a half hour to carry all that stuff to her house with her Momma underfoot like she was, and by that time all I wanted to do was go sit on the Pool Hall steps for a while and then go crash somewhere.

 My little strawberry blond was waitin’ for me at the Cozy and her smile chased that hangover right outta me. “Hey, baby.” “Hey yerself, what’s up?” “Me, every time you smile like that. Get that big Panda put away?” “He’s on my bed. I pretend it’s you.” “Any good?” “You asshole! Not like that! Like a big pillow! Momma was happy we were out actin’ like normal kids. She really likes you now.” “I kinda thought so. It ain’t been easy though.” We went out to the Fairgrounds and watched ‘em swim for a while and saw some big trucks comin’ in. “Looks like they’re gonna set up the Carnival awready. Jeezus, there ain’t no end to them trucks; must be a big one. Let’s go over to the Roller Rink and skate for a while. We can watch ‘em set up from there.” Some folks from the VFW were openin’ up the eight little white wooden concession stands and chasin’ the rats an’ shit outta ‘em. All four sides opened up and stuck out like awnings over the two by twelve plank counters. There were big bee nests in most of ‘em that had to be eradicated, and I heard one ol’ boy yell, “Snake!” but we couldn’t see nothin’ from where we were two-steppin’ backwards around the Rink. “Gawd, there must be fifty o’ them big Carnival trucks! It’s gonna be way bigger than the Dubuque County Fair! Where they gonna put the stuff, Frankie?” “ I’m gettin’ tired of skatin’ anyway. C’mon, I’ll show ya! See that slat fence over there? That’s where they’ll dump the corn and husk it. I used to come out and help when I was a kid. Got all we could eat and free rides. Those big tanks are boilers to cook the stuff. Some of the concession stands are for sellin’ hot dawgs and other food, and a couple will prob’ly sell beer and pop and that kinda stuff. Maybe use one or two for toss games or somethin’. They always put the tents with games and that kinda thing there along the trees so there’s a little shade, and the rides go over there along the old race track, by the City Dump. Millions o’ rats come out at night, but they never come to the Corn Boil ‘til after the people are all gone. The bathrooms, if ya could call ‘em that, are in the big barn over there. I don’t know about the women’s but all the guy’s got is a slanted drain spout to piss in that runs out through the wall somewhere. Gets to smellin’ pretty ripe. See the Ball park? That whole area is gonna be packed with so many cars ya can’t count ‘em, and they’ll be parked bumper to bumper all the way into town, up Franklin, and all over the downtown area. Thicker than sand flies, and there’ll be a lot of them smelly sumbitches, trust me.” “Boy, ya really know a lot about this stuff!” “I oughta; been comin’ to the Corn Boil since I learned how to walk. Everybody in the Tri-States comes, like it’s a pilgrimage or somethin’. Nobody in their right mind would miss it. A lot of people that ain’t in their right mind come. You’ll see! Some o’ the craziest sumbitches in the world find their way here!” They were startin’ to unload some of the trucks.

“Oh look! They got elephants and giraffes an monkeys!” “Let’s go fuck with the monkeys! Them sumbitches are funny.” They wouldn’t let us though, and told us to get the hell outta the way, so we left and went down to the Cozy and had some burgers ‘n fries and strawberry malts and listened to the jukebox for a while. It was a hangout and cool inside so half the kids in town made their way in and outta the place through the day, makin’ ol’ Pus Gut happy as hell. They made him a lot of money and kept the grill hot and the deep fryer smokin’.
Abe ‘n Frank and their girls came in. Frank musta worked some magic on his ‘cause she was hangin’ onto him pretty tight and had real sleepy lookin’ eyes and a happy smile that never went away the whole while they were there in the booth with us. Later he told me she had sucked down damn near a quart of gin that mornin’ after hosin’ him. Me ‘n Judy told ‘em what we had seen at the Fairgrounds and Carol said, “I hope they got good fireworks this time. That stuff they had last year kinda sucked, after waitin’ all damn day for it.” “Well,” I said, “It looks like the biggest damn Carnival I’ve ever seen. Even got elephants pullin’ on the ropes to set up them huge fuckin’ tents. There’s piles of elephant shit out there bigger a Mack truck!” “I saw a giraffe and some monkeys!” Frank reached across and snagged a couple of my fries and I jabbed him with my fork. Butch came in. He was a cool dude from Des Plaines that had fallen head over heels for my little sister and stayed around town, though she never went out with him once. He ended up in jail with me and Abe a number o’ times, just as fuckin’ silly as we were, and a lot of fun to have around. He was livin’ in a shed on the farm my older sister and her husband were rentin’, and like part of the family. A few weeks back we had been out road drinkin’ and got out to mess around with this old black Angus bull that seemed to like us, at one of our parkin’ spots on the way to Al’s and he bet me fifty dollars I couldn’t do fifty pushups. Even drunk I could do a hundred, and after I pocketed his money he said, “I’ll bet you another fifty ya can’t make me say ‘ow’.” I thought about it, and then pulled my fingernail clippers outta my pocket and opened the nail file, took his arm, and shoved it in as deep as it would go. He screamed. Gave me the money, too. “Hey Butch. How ya doin’?” He had black curly hair and a neatly trimmed beard, and was the first guy I ever saw wearin’ an ear ring, but he wasn’t no damn sissy. I had watched him kick the supreme shit out of a number of guys at the Palace. He was a Dago and damn proud of it. Worked out all the time. Tough. He fit right in. “Just got back from Des Plaines. They still ain’t got my Harley fixed.” The crazy sumbitch had run through an intersection and gone right up over the back of a car like ol’ John’s ’49 or ’50 Chevy fast back, at over a hundred miles an hour, and landed damn near a block up the street. Yeah, the fucker did have some scrapes and broken bones, but he had healed up just fine and it never slowed him down. “Y’all gettin’ ready for the Corn Boil?” “Naw, we are ready! Won a buncha cash at the poker game the other night. Gonna have a hell of a time,” Abe told him. “Damn,” Butch says, “we got enough people right here for a party. Anybody wanna go out to Al’s?” People in the other booths musta heard him ‘cause all of a sudden donations from over a dozen kids was pilin’ up on the table, and Abe scraped the loot off and jammed it in his pocket. “Let’s go.”

It turned into an all-nighter but I wasn’t goin’ that route. Not with my baby to think about, and how it would fuck things up with her Momma. Yeah, we wanted to stick around, but it just wasn’t worth the agony. Judy told me I could come back though, after I took her home if I wanted. I thought about it too. They were gonna have a hell of a good time out there in the hot summer night. But she wouldn’t be there, and I could see no fun in it. When I parked at her place I went up with her and told her, “Ask your Momma to come out.” I think I had her a little spooked, but she went in and got her. “Hello Frankie. Is something the matter?” “Yeah. Every kid we know is at a party out in the country. We were there too. We had to leave ‘cause Judy can’t stay out late, and I know she’s feelin’ pretty low about it. She told me I could go back if I wanted. Well, I can’t. Not without Judy. So I was wonderin’ if we could stay out here on the porch all night, and be together. I don’t want her bein’ sad. Would it be all right if we just sat out here?” “All night?” “Long as Judy wants me to.” Judy had tears on her cheeks and the ol’ girl gave her a big hug. “Don’t cry, baby! Of course it’s all right! Just behave yourselves. Goodnight.” She kissed the girl and smiled at me for a moment and went in, closed the door, turned off the porch light and shut the curtain.

“Jeezus,” Judy said, “You’re the one that made me cry, tellin’ her about how fuckin’ sad I was!” Then we were both laughin’. “You oughta be an actor.” “I am; a bad actor.” “You really wanna stay here with me?” I didn’t even answer, just wrapped her up and started kissin’ her. Aw, we mighta played around a little on that dark porch, but didn’t get too carried away. The sky was startin’ to get light when my sweetheart just couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore and I had to let her go in. I walked away smilin’. Fuck them parties ‘n good times. I had mine, and ol’ Momma was just about trained. I was whistlin’ the Duke Of Earl as I drove off.

The Corn boil was tomorrow. I slept all day and woke up around two in a damn fine mood and cleaned up a little and went right to her house. She was sittin’ in the shade on the porch with her mother and I strolled up and flopped down on the step near her, smilin’ at her Ol’ Lady, who was smilin’ at me. “Beautiful day, ain’t it?” “A wonderful day! Are you taking Judy to the Corn Boil tomorrow?” “If you’ll let me.” “Well! Of course I’ll let you. She was so happy this morning I couldn’t believe it was the same girl!” So we all sat there smilin’ back’ n forth for a while, then she left us alone. I leaned real close and whispered in her ear, “Wanna go out to the bridge?” She giggled, “Momma! We’re goin’ up to the Dairy Dreem! Bye!”

We ran to the Merc and shot down the street, drove up Commerce so nobody would try to flag us down. Slid to a stop under the bridge. Hopped over the seat into the back, both of us breathin’ hard ‘n fast. Then things slowed way down as I gently removed her shorts and top and took her on my lap. I wanted to keep her, that day. Forever. That day after the Dubuque County Fair wasn’t our best day. This one was.

When I dropped her off that evenin’ I said, “Get a good night’s sleep, baby. Big day tomorrow. If we don’t get there beforeeight o’clockin the mornin’ we’ll have to walk all the way out, and I gave that shit up.” “What time do you  want me to be ready?” “I’ll pick ya up at seven. I want a front row seat for the Merc. We’re takin’ our own beer; cost too much otherwise. ‘Sides, we might wanna take a nap before the fireworks.” “I’ll be ready. Is Abe ‘n Carol comin’ with us? I like ‘em.” “Me too. I’ll go find out. See ya in the mornin’.”

Abe was antsy. Hadn’t seen me around all day. “Where the fokk ya been?” “Out under Burton’s.” “Oh! Well, what time we goin’ out tomorrow? I gotta make sure Carol has time enough. Fuck it; I’ll just keep her at the penthouse tonight.” “I’ll stop down in front of Moes’ at seven oh five. We gotta get to the Stable Inn and load up.” “He ain’t open that early! We gotta get the stuff now.” “Awright. Better buy another cooler too! Gonna be a long day. What about Frank and Suzy; they got a ride?” “I’ll make sure they’re ready to go, don’t worry about that. She’s been stayin’ with him the last coupla days.” “Figgered that. Well, twist them handlebars for him about five! Let’s go get that beer an’ stuff!”

They were all ready, which amazed the hell outta me when I made the rounds and picked ‘em up. The two coolers were in the trunk and we had ice on the beer all night. It couldn’t get no colder. Had four extra twelve packs in reserve, that we’d throw in as the supplies dwindled. If we ran out it was our own damn fault. Had four packs of brats and a few bags of buns and some charcoal, too, in case we found a spot to park that had a grill close by. I wanted to have the Merc close enough to the cans so we didn’t have to jostle through a million people to take a piss. This was extremely important, at least until late in the day when it started to get dark out. The car would be our headquarters, and I knew it was gonna draw people like flies, but they weren’t gettin’ none of our suds. Not a fuckin’ drop. They coulda done the same thing.

Traffic was already pickin’ up, and there were cops all over the place tryin’ to figger out where to start puttin’ cars when we pulled in. The guy with the three foot long flashlight motioned us on, and I drove right to the exact spot I had been thinkin’ about since yesterday. Yeah. Close to everything, and it had all the requirements, right down to the shade tree! The girls got the blankets out and started settin’ up our space. Us guys headed over to the concessions and grabbed a tray of coffee, all of us still half asleep. Within a half hour more than five hundred cars had been guided into the field. “Well, ya sure guessed it right,” Abe said. “If we’da waited we’da been fucked fer sure.”

Already people were admirin’ the car, and some few our girls. Couldn’t blame ‘em, either way. Me ‘n Abe ‘n Frank stood back ‘n watched, admirin’ the girls our own selves. We had all done well, for a bunch of outlaws. They were beautiful.

Between us we had over six hundred dollars saved. If that wasn’t enough to show the girls the best time they ever had, nothin’ was. Yeah. We were ready, and had the best spot at the Fairgrounds. Wasn’t a fuckin’ thing goin’ on though, and wouldn’t be for a coupla hours. That was all right; we still had a lot of coffee to drink. Other than beer it was our favorite beverage, and seven or eight cups apiece wasn’t unusual. Made ya piss, though. We found out early that the damn can was gonna be monstrously bad by noonwhen it started to heat up, with that tin roof. “I ain’t goin’ in there later, man. I’ll piss over there in them trees.” “Me too; fuckin’ stink’d puke a normal man.” We looked at Frank. “Well, I said ‘normal’, didn’t I?” Abe looked him up and down and shook his head. “Frank, you ain’t never been normal. You could lay down and take a nap in that stankin sumbitch an’ wake up hungry!” “Boy, yer a nice brother! Let’s get some more coffee. Hey, look, they’re already walkin’ in the gates over there!Lot must be full.”

It was, and it was only quarter to nine. Wow. I picked Judy up from the blanket. “Look sweetheart. I told ya; can’t even count ‘em.” She gazed at the hundreds of vehicles in awe. The little town in Nebraskashe came from, if it was lucky, didn’t have a tenth that many cars. Not even! “Aw gawd. And most of the people haven’t come yet?” “Nope. A lot of ‘em don’t come til’ four or five o’clock, just to play a few games, maybe have one ride, an ear of corn, and watch the fireworks. In the next coupla hours there’ll be so many people packed around us we won’t hardly be able to see the Ferris Wheel. Twelve thousand. Hell, there’s only thirty-five hundred people livin’ in Galena. Fuckin’ near four times our population. Now, have I impressed you yet, or would you like to take a walk with me and see how packed the concessions are already? Alla these cars you see had four or five people in ‘em, and they’re all over there by the rides and the boiler. Comin’?” “Yeah!” Abe grinned and waved us off. He was standin’ guard. Wasn’t nobody fuckin’ with our beer.

I tried to do a fast count as we walked hand in hand toward where we thought the elephants had been the other day, but Jeezus, it was impossible! Just after nine and people were three deep at the beer stands and a line with hundreds of ‘em were ready to go through and grab a plate of corn. The Wheel was runnin, and we could hear the big diesels of a whole lotta other rides warmin’ up. It was awesome, and she moved a little closer to me. I had seen it all many times, but Judy had never even imagined such a thing. I was gonna give her every piece of it before the day was done.

We would play in hour-long shifts so we always had someone by the Merc and our beer. First thing I did when we walked onto the playin’ field was find a stand that sold jewelry and watches, and bought a wind up pocket watch. Checked it after crankin’ the shit outta it and it ticked like a sumbitch. I immediately felt better. When I paid the gypsy woman I spotted a beautiful gold Eagle necklace and said, “Gimme that too,” and hung it on my lil’ darlin’s neck with my ring. It was most likely brass but who gave a fuck? “Look, monkeys!” “Where? Oh, them are stuffed, babe.” “I know! They’re cute though.” “Well, let’s go see if we can win a coupla monkeys then!” It was a ball game, you know, knock all of ‘em  down and ya win. I think there was a trick to it; I watched ‘til they made room for us and never saw all six fall at the same time. What the hell. I gave the Carny a dollar and started pitchin’. Knock the bottom center one out? Awright…wham! Didn’t work; too much clearance between ‘em. Awright, I’ll fool this sumbitch. I’ll throw from the side at an angle! Wham!. Fuckers fell right over. Did it again. He gave me the monkeys but wasn’t too damn happy about it. I said , “Come ‘ere!” and he stepped over. “I ain’t gonna tell nobody.” “Awright, here, give yer lady another monkey.”

We threw darts at the balloons then and I couldn’t hit shit, and by then it was time to get rid of some coffee and get back to the car. Damn near time for a cold beer. I took her over and showed her the huge piles of corn inside the fence and the twenty or thirty kids in there among the piles huskin’ the stuff. The VFW guys were busy haulin’ the cleaned ears over to the cookers in five gallon buckets and dumpin’ ‘em in while others fished the ones that were done out with big fine-tined pitchforks and dumped ‘em in long stainless troughs fulla melted butter and then stacked ‘em on paper plates and handed em’ out to the people standin’ in the long line that stretched away under the trees. “We’ll get ours next time sweetheart, and have ‘em with the brats.” I looked at my new watch. “Time we got back.”

We stopped at the cans first, and Frank was right. Ya get thousands of people pissin’ in the same place and no means of flushin’ the stuff away other than gravity and about half of ‘em pissin’ on the floor it tends to ripen quick. I hoped Judy didn’t have to piss in a place like this. Well, I didn’t puke or nothin’ anyway, and got outta there. She came out a minute later holdin’ her nose and I just shook my head. Fuck that, we’d hang the blankets over by the car and stand guard for ‘em when they had to go.

I told Abe all four of ‘em oughta head for the midway. “It’s startin’ to get lively over there. Hey, if you guys wanna get the corn I’ll get the brats goin’ after a bit.” “Awright. I’m gonna take an extra can of beer along in one of the ice bags.” “Better take a couple. It’s gettin’ thirsty out.” He loaded a six pack and a few ice cubes in the bag and they took off, after I told ‘em about the cans and what I was gonna do about it. When they were gone me ‘n Judy made the girls a little blanket cubicle behind the Merc. I didn’t want my girl goin’ through that shit again. When ya had to stand in line for a half hour and then try to relieve yourself and not puke at the same time anything had to be better, and a while later Judy tried it out and came out smilin’.

I scraped the dead animals and stuff offa the grill and got the charcoal ready and found the aluminum foil in the trunk. The brats were good and cold yet so I wasn’t worried about eatin’ ‘em, and laid ‘em out on the foil after the coals took off. Every few minutes I had to give the gawkers a big line of shit about the car and they were takin’ pictures and stuff as they walked past. I had parked as close to the midway as was smart but far enough away that we had a frog hair of privacy, if ya could call it that, four rows back. Hell, there were way more than a thousand people out among the parked cars that had the same idea as we had and it was like a busy little town, everybody cookin’ stuff and settin’ up umbrellas and foldin’ tables and such, and after a while a whole lot more of the little cubicles started showin’ up behind the vehicles. Damn ground was gonna be soaked by the time the fireworks went off.

Abe ‘n Carol came strollin’ back with four plates heaped with steamin’ corn, and a coupla minutes later Frank ‘n his gal came in with four more and we piled everything on the one blanket that hadn’t been used for the gal’s bathroom, which Carol and Suzy quickly utilized. The brats were damn near done so we set up our lunch and chowed down.

Eleven thirty. “I’m gonna take Judy on the rides. See ya in an hour.” Abe handed me the ice bag with four cans and we walked off through the closely packed cars. “I wanna ride the Roller Coaster first. I ain’t never seen nothin’ so big. I hope I don’t get scared too bad. I ain’t ever been on one.” “Ya rode me!” She punched me in the arm and we went past the young fella from town that was up on a hay wagon playin’ Country Music on an electric guitar and tryin’ to sing like Johnny Cash and listened for a while, then I got my turn at smackin’ the pad with the big mallet and rang the bell for her. Right next to that a bunch of young fellas were poundin’ the shit outta a ’46 Plymouth with sledge hammers but ya couldn’t win nothin’ and we passed it up. “Over there! Look, the elephants!” I took her over toward ‘em and when we got close we saw a long row of cages with a bunch of different critters in ‘em. “There’s yer monkeys, sweetheart. Chimps. Looka them ones with the long fuckin’ tails!” “I wanna see the chimps!” They wanted to see us too, I s’pose, ‘cause they went nuts when we stopped in front of ‘em, actin’ like Tarzan ‘n Jane had come to rescue ‘em. Diddled away fifteen minutes fuckin’ around with ‘em, then headed for the Roller Coaster. Had to wait twenty minutes to get on and then right away we started wishin’ the ride was over and we could get off! Up like a rocket; down like a rock; slammed into impossible turns where the gravity woulda shot us halfway across the Fairgrounds if they hadn’t been so steeply banked; back up to the sky; wham, down to the ground; another wild assed turn; back up; upside down! back down, and a long slow run to the Carny who let us off when our car slid up to him. Her hair was wild and so were her eyes. “I ain’t ever gettin’ on one of them fuckin’ things again,” she said, as I led her shakily away. “Take me back to the car.”

When we got there I said, “Hey Frank, take Suzy for a ride on the Roller Coaster.” “Was it fun?” “Fuckinaye, man.” I laughed as they walked off in that direction.

Abe looked at the condition the ride had left Judy in and laughed. “You crazy sumbitch. Here, have one.” We watched people for a while and shot the shit with a bunch of ‘em as they wandered by and Abe suggested the four of us make the journey when Frank carried Suzy back all frizzed out. “She didn’t like it. Puked about halfway up the first climb. What a fuckin’ mess. People behind us was really pissed off.” He was laughin’ hard as he set her down on the blanket and wiped her face with his snot rag. We loaded the bag and took off. Judy had recovered and was ready to try somethin’ else. The Bumper Cars had been set up in the open buildin’ the Roller Rink usually occupied and the loud music kinda tugged at us so we went over and rented four of ‘em. Smashed the fuck outta everything. You wanna see how good a girl can drive get her in one of them gawd damn things! They were mean, those two girls, and had such fun tryin’ to run over me ‘n Abe we had to rent ‘em again. Fifty of the little tin fuckers was runnin’ all over the place and most of the people drivin ‘em didn’t give a fuck who they ran into. We finally had enough and got outta there.

Got in line and had a few more ears of corn and hit the games. We played Horseshoes a lot so we thought we oughta do pretty good tossin’ rings and lost a few bucks there and went into a bingo tent and out the other side to see the Fortune Teller. She looked genuine enough, I s’pose, and Carol got in line and got her fortune told. The old Gypsy took her hand and started feelin’ lines and shit and then looked her in the eye. “You will find True Love with a wonderful man.” “Yeah?” “One day you will become very rich.” “Yeah?” “That is all I see.” “Oh. When?” “What?” “When do I get alla this stuff?” “The future is cloudy. One more dollar will clear it up.” “Fuck you, ya phony sumbitch. I oughta kick yer ass!” Abe hadda drag her away.

We took our turns with the pump .22 rifles and Abe was ready to bend the fuckin’ thing over the Carny’s head in about two minutes flat. “This gawd damn barrel is bent, ya crooked asshole!” “Naw, I check ‘em every day! Ain’t a fuckin’ thing wrong wif ‘em! You jus’ cain’t shoot, boy! Try a different one!” Abe glared at him for a minute, tossed another dollar down and snatched up another one. “This one don’t work it’s goin’ up yer ass!” It didn’t, and I had to drag him away ‘fore we all ended up in jail. He woulda jammed the bent rifle up the guy’s ass.

Ran into Denny ‘n Vi and Artie and a whole bunch of guys ‘n girls fromDubuqueover by the beer tent and partied with ‘em for a while, and took the girls on the Rocket. Then we rode that fuckin’ thing that whipped yer ass around in seventy three different directions while it twisted the shit outta ya on a wooden deck that that had all kinds of dips and rolls and when they were startin’ to look like they were gettin’ sick we took ‘em over to the concessions and got some cotton candy for ‘em.

The crowd was so dense we had to shove people outta the way and already there were drunks layin’ in the shade of the big Elm trees or up against the wagons and trucks out cold. Five of them big fuckin’ elephant was snortin’ and blowin’ water and stuff outta their noses and makin’ a hell of a racket and we watched for a while ‘til the girls finished the sticky cotton stuff and I said, “We’re outta beer. Wanna go back to the car?”

Judy giggled half the way back. “What’s so funny?” Carol asked her when we got to the Merc. “You…you…you an’ that fuckin’ Gypsy! Get outta the way; I gotta pee!” Suzy was takin’ a nap and Frank was loungin’ in the Merc on the passenger side with the door hangin’ open, shootin’ the breeze with Wilkie and Hawk. “She faint on ya?” Abe asked, and Frank said, “Fuckin’ Gin kicked her ass. Every mornin’, rain or shine. That’s awright, I’m havin’ fun right here. Biggest gawd damn party I was ever at. You four enjoy yerselves; I’ll hold down the fort for the day.”

We hung out for a little as the girls freshened up and then loaded the bag and went back into the throngs of happy people. The ladies among ‘em were no longer waitin’ for their turn at the little cubicles, just dropped their pants anywhere alongside the vast number of vehicles and let ‘er fly; gotta go ya gotta go. The Tractor Pull was crankin’ up.

Millions of chawed corn cobs and paper plates, plastic cups, and beer cans were on the ground with correspondin’ numbers of  flies ‘n bees crawlin’ on ‘em and walkin’ was becomin’ a chore as we made our way through the crowd lined up to watch the old John Deere and Allis Chalmer and Ford N’s and shit drag flat truckbeds down the lane with a dozen people standin’ on ‘em for weight, and everybody was yellin’ and whoopin’ when they got to the other end. Fuckin’ dust was hangin’ in the air so thick I couldn’t hardly breathe and grabbed Abe’s arm. “I’m goin’ back over on the midway,” I hollered and he nodded and we drug the gals away.

Two thirty, when I pulled the pocket watch out and glanced at it. I was gettin’ kinda hungry again and led everyone toward the concessions.

“I want some of them onion rings an’ a hot dawg,” Carol said, so we all got ‘em and went over to one of the big Elms and sat at a wooden picnic table some other folks had just got up from. Even there we almost got plowed over by people jostlin’ by on their way to whatever caught their eye. One of the rides was goin’ like a bat outta hell flingin’ the occupants in two opposin’ ‘spaceships’ around like a big windmill and they were screamin’ like a sumbitch about a hundred feet from us. Abe poked Carol, “We’re goin’ on that next.” “Oh no ‘we’ ain’t! You ‘n Frank go.” I watched it for a minute. “Naw. I got better things to do.” The onion rings were good but the hot dawg tasted more like a dead dawg and I threw mine down on the ground with what looked like a hundred others, all half-eaten, amongst the rest of the trash that was pilin’ up, and took a big swig outta my can to kill the taste.

There was a big bunch of stuff in the old horse barn so we wandered through checkin’ it out for an hour. Rugs, home made bread, jars of canned stuff fresh from the farm, little school kids’ paintin’s, Blue Ribbons for hogs, cows, and sheep, and the animals that won ‘em standin’ there hock-deep in straw and shit. Pretty neat stuff. It was all farm related though, and we were all from town so we lost interest pretty soon, but it was a lot cooler in there, so we stood inside the door and drank beer while we watched the flow.

The bell ringers were hammerin’ away with the big mallet about ten yards away and a big fat boy threw it down and grabbed the guy behind him and punched him flush in the nose and they rolled around knockin’ people down ‘til a few others grabbed ‘em and pulled ‘em apart. One of ‘em prob’ly called the other a sissy or somethin’. Looked like sissies, I thought, and said as much to Abe. “They fight like sissies,” he said.

“Come on girls, there’s a whole lotta games we ain’t played yet,” I said. Carol laughed, “You ain’t talkin’ about Abie!” We stopped and grabbed at little yellow plastic ducks swimmin’ past us at forty miles an hour and won a few trinkets, then Abe and Carol broke balloons while me ‘n Judy threw baseballs at milk bottles. Then we tossed rings again and I got her another teddy bear, and went over and had our names carved on a wood heart by a hillbilly fromKentucky.

Our beer bag was empty and we paid six dollars for a six pack at the beer tent, but they threw in a cup of ice for free after Carol got done with ‘em.

We got down to the end of the stuff we hadn’t been to yet and Abe said, ‘I’ll be damned, it’s that Refrigerator Ass  from the Drive-In!” It was, too. She was sittin’ on four chairs in front of a tent that had ‘The Fat Lady’ painted all over it, and pictures of her in different costumes. She saw Abe at the same time and hollered, “Fuck you, ya moufy cracksuckin’ sumbitch!” Abe looked around like he wanted to know who the hell she was yellin’ at, and we got outta there.

We played Roulette for a half hour and won pocketfuls of shit that prob’ly wasn’t worth three dollars and Judy said, “I gotta go!” “So do I. Right now!” and we led ‘em behind one of the elephant’s shit piles. There were wads of paper layin’ around so we thought, what the hell, and wetted the place down.

Abe said, “What time ya got, Frank?” I fished out the pocket watch. “Jeeze;quarter after five! Better go check on Frank ‘n Suzy, huh?” “Yeah, but I want some more corn first. Gawd damn stuff was good. Another brat wouldn’t hurt nothin’.” “I’m hungry too,” added Carol. I looked at Judy. “Yeah.” So was I. I had thrown most of the hot dawg away.

I went through the line and got a load of corn while Abe and the girls picked up a buncha brats and chips and pickles and stuff and we carried it all back to the Merc. Suzy was layin’ on the hood soakin’ up sun and Frank had swiped a coupla lawn chairs somewhere and him ‘n Hawk were lyin’ to each other about somethin’ when we walked up to the car. “Hey,” says Hawk. I grinned, “How ya doin’, man? Any beer left?” Frank said,  “Oh, we got maybe two cases. Hawk only drank four, outta my share. Suzy didn’t need none.” “That’s awright, he can have some of mine too,” I told him. “Mine too,” Abe said. “You eat yet, Hawk?” “Just a few flies.” “Well, we brought plenty. Get over here and grab a plate.”

It wassix thirty. Long time yet ‘til the fireworks. “Wanna go on another ride Judy?” “Mmm. Naw. I just wanna sit here with alla you guys. I think I had too much fun.” I smiled and looked around. Yeah. “C’mon Hawk, there’s some lawn chairs over there, let’s go get ‘em.” He slid off the fender and followed me, and we drug a half dozen of ‘em back. If anybody bitched we’d give ‘em back, otherwise we’d be sittin’ on our asses for the fireworks. Butch, Steve, and Bernie strolled up to the car carryin’three twelvepacks and looked around and pretty soon had their own lawn chairs too. “Got any ice?” Steve asked, and Abe led him to the trunk. “Yeah, there’s room. Throw ‘em in there.” The more the merrier, long as they brought their own beer!

We laid around talkin’ about good times ‘til abouteight o’clock, and nobody came lookin’ for their chairs. They prob’ly knew right where they were, but everyone who was sittin’ on ‘em had been in jail several times and in a lotta fights and prob’ly scared the shit outta ‘em. We got to keep ‘em. It was coolin’ off some now.

A lot of people were comin’ outta the trees and away from the midway to find a good spot to watch the sky from ‘cause as soon as dusk came the Fire Department was gonna start jackin’ shit up. The bunch fromDubuquewent past the Merc and several of ‘em stopped to visit, Vi ‘n Denny too. They were in fine form, havin’ been in the beer tent most of the day. Denny said, “I forgot to tell ya how cute yer lil’ gal is. Sweet.” “Yeah,” Vi said, “bring her over to the house sometime.” “I will, soon. I think she’s a keeper.” Judy smiled. “Well, we gotta go. Hang in there,” Denny said, nodded to everyone, and they took off.

A few minutes later we heard someone yellin’, “You dirty gawd damn bowlegged rotten sumbitch!” and a whole lotta other people started yellin’ too. “Fight!” Bernie said, and we jumped to our feet and ran in the direction theDubuque bunch had gone. Yeah. There they were! “Fuck, looka that, Abe! Wanna jump in?” “Yeah.” We jumped. Didn’t know who the fuck we were fightin’ with. Didn’t care either! It was almost dark and sparkly shit was goin’ off in the sky. Fuck that; there were better fireworks on the ground! It didn’t last long but more than forty guys got in on it before a herd of cops run in and broke it up. We ran off when we saw ‘em comin’ and went back to the Merc.

Sat there in the lawn chairs laughin’. “Broke my fuckin’ nose,” Frank said. Hawk said, “That ain’t good, Frank. Damn thing’s already almost as big as mine. I don’t need the competition. Better put some ice on it.” Frank rolled his beer can around on it instead, “Yeah, I sure don’t want a beak like that!”

BOOM! “Jeezus! That was a good one,” Carol yelled, as trailers of fire shot across the sky and split apart and exploded again. “Wow! Did you see that?” Suzy slid off the hood, “Frank, where’s my gawd damn Gin?” BOOM! “Jeezus,” she said, and looked at the rapid, brilliant, LOUD explosions happenin’ above her. Twelve thousand people exclaimed, “Ooooh wowww…WOW!” dozens of times in the next half hour, and we laid back in the lawn chairs and smiled. There was gonna be a lot of kinked necks tomorrow! Judy and Carol were layin’ on their backs on our bellies, and I personally coulda cared less about the fireworks, with Judy’s sweet ass bouncin’ around on me, but I gotta admit it, they went all out and it was the best gawd damn fireworks they ever had at the Corn Boil.

“Now for the bad part,” Abe said, as the Fairgrounds began to clear out. “Yeah. We’re gonna have to sit here until they’re almost all gone before we can get the Merc outta here. Party Time!” We started drinkin’ that ice cold beer in earnest and by the time we could get outta there we wouldn’t go. Several other cars pulled in and the kids jumped out and joined us. Then, just beforemidnight, the cops came back and ran us off.